Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Rappers's Comeback That Will Never Be

There's nothing people hate as being rated a has been. Yeah you had your one minute for a minute and not to sound like a hater but it was that - just one minute of fame. Bare in mind we are not saying they will never drop albums - just that they wont burn the charts like before.

Only a few entertainers have managed longevity and staying relevant over the years but some no matter how hard they try will NEVER be on top again

Thanks to smokingsection for bring this to our attention - here is a list:

1. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony — You can’t blame these guys for continually trying. But a lack of quality control, good defense lawyers and adequate psychiatric care have doomed Cleveland’s finest to Hip-Hop obscurity. They get some bonus points for having a rabid fanbase, but then again so do ICP and Glenn Beck.

2. Ja Rule — Sometime in 2002, there was a staff meeting at the Murder Inc. offices. In the ensuing minutes, the motion to ignore 50 Cent was passed. The result? The label would go on to die a slow painful death with Jeffery Atkins serving as the poster child for defamation of character in Hip-Hop. Selling a LeBron jersey in Cleveland is more feasible than this guy ever returning to prominence.

3. Lil Flip — It was only a matter of time before people actually caught on to the fact Flip was referring to himself as a gangsta leprechaun. In hindsight, he’s probably the inspiration for Chuck Hamilton’s Sonic The Hedgehog infatuation. Add in a lyrical barrage and being called out -plus allegedly beaten – in his own hood (both by T.I.). What hurt even worse? Scarface even disowned the guy.

4. GZA — The former genius of the illustrious Wu-Tang Clan has seen his rap IQ dwindle in the ensuing years following his classic album, Liquid Swords. Forced to pay his bills by performing the aforementioned album in full at the annual Rock The Bells festival, the once prolific writer has seen disses to soft target 50 Cent fall on deaf ears and his numerous projects fail to make a blip on the critical rap radar. Makes you want to sing along with Gladys Knight and reminisce when becoming a Hip-Hop legend was all so simple.

5. Outkast — As much as it kills any TSS member to say this, the Atlanta duo is now a decade removed from their last collaborative album. 3 Stacks appears to have lost the attention span to rap, sing or act more than two or three times a year while Big Boi has tried to keep the hope alive with random hints of imminent return mentioned in interviews. Sadly, the writing on the wall has long been there for us to see. If Big’s content to fly solo, we’ll just have to follow.

6. Ma$e — Ha! Ma$e! This friggin’ guy. Is he a preacher or a rapper who murders people? Actually, he’s neither. He’s an idiot. The second this completely un-Bad Boy tried to act like he was too good for the lifestyle that made him successful, then tried to come back to open arms is the second he forfeited any prior fans he may have had. Resentment, much? Yes.

7. Nelly — He’s one of the top-selling Hip-Hop acts of the 21st century, but banging Ashanti into oblivion has been Nelly’s only musical contribution of note in the last few years. His last album was horrible and an utter failure, putting a comeback out of reach. We’re pretty sure Nelly realizes this too, which is why he’s content hosting radio shows and interviewing people that still have careers.

8. Dr. Dre — If you think Detox is still coming out, we at TSS have wonderful Idaho beachfront property to sell you. Face it. Detox is never happening. Oh, it had a chance until the Internet diarrhea dumped over that chicken scratch “Under Pressure” song that sounded like Banana Republic house music. Did we crush your dreams, here? Sorry. We take it back. Detox is coming out. Right after your dad comes back from the trip to the store for cigarettes and milk that he took when you were seven.

9. DMX — Dark Man X and his coke habit have kept the former major star away from the music scene for a while. True story: by the time you read this post, Earl will have been released from jail and arrested again three times. Arf Arf!

10. D’Angelo — Sorry. But it’s true. Stop kidding yourself, because the longer you hold out hope, the longer this Voodoo wound will fester and ooze. D’Angelo has always struck at love with a raw, unadulterated wallop to the heart he dissects with scalpel-like precision. But with that grasp of the human condition comes the unending sting of heartbreak. In this case, the sting comes in the form of mugshots and the stranglehold of ze coke-aye-een-ah. With rumors that D’s working on something new that will come out soon, we recommend you hold your breath for about as long as you hold it for Detox. Enjoy instead what the man has given you already; an album in 2000 that redefined harmony, from the instrument in the case to the instrument of voice.

Honorable Mention:

Young Jeezy - we ride with the trap king but we just dont see his album doing well.
Yung Joc - Young who?
Young Buck - 50 kileed your flame boy
Soulja Boy - ah its a shame cos he mastered the ringtone thing
Papoose - career never took off besides the mixtapes...wasted talent.
Lil Jon - what?
Franchize Boys - please
Mike Jones - Mike who?
Foxy Brown - I liked you ma but lets face it - the throne is on Nicki's head
Lil Flip -

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